Ensuring adult fun when you meet up with other swingers

The adult dating meeting

Imagine now that the day and time of the adult dating meeting has come. Whether its a swinger couple or a sexy single you are meeting, the following applies.
If the meeting was arranged at a hotel, imagine that you are waiting in the reception area and that someone fitting the description of your adult date has just walked in.
If the adult date is at the other person's or swinger couple's house, imagine their front door is just about to open. If the adult dating meeting is at your home, imagine that the door bell is ringing.

How might the adult date unfold?

Whatever the scenario, you are feeling very excited and wondering exactly how the adult date will unfold.

You are now faced with three main tasks:

  1. Setting a good first impression
  2. Building rapport
  3. Steering the meeting away from being just a social get together and towards its real purpose

Communication experts say that we form an impression of new people that we meet within the first four minutes of meeting them. That first impression will set the stage for the rest of the meeting, so you better ensure it's a good one. It should go without saying that the amount of effort that you have put into preparing for the adult dating meeting will go a long way to ensuring that the first impression is a favourable one.
There is however a bit more to first impressions than being well groomed, well versed and smartly dressed. The most important things are your body language and tone of voice. Communication is based on much more than just words. Experts believe that when you're talking your actual words account for only 7% of the total message you are giving out. Your tone of voice accounts for 38% of your message and body language accounts for the remaining 55%. If you have any doubts that you are using your body language and tone of voice effectively, take a look at your level of self confidence. A confident person projects self confidence in their body language and vocal tone but a nervous person does the opposite.

Secret success formula for adult dating

Pacing, Mirroring and Leading

After those first few minutes of greeting one another and creating a relaxed, no-pressure atmosphere, it's time to start moving towards the adult action. But it is important keep a delicate balance between being too superficial and being too deep.
To build rapport, you do need to ask questions and be very attentive but always keep the purpose of the meeting in mind; its supposed to be about having fun, not anything heavy. Use the flirting to create sexual tension and to keep everything light-hearted.

Constantly throughout this stage, you need to be watching the responses you are getting and adjusting your position to match them, steering things forward. Be very careful to avoid dragging it out unnecessarily. Once you fall into that trap, both you and the other person or swinger couple will find it difficult to get back out. If you watch the body language signals, are listening to what is being said back to you, and are attentive to how it is being said, you will be able move things along in the direction you want them to go.

Communication psychologists refer to this process as; pacing, mirroring and leading.
Pacing is the process of tuning yourself into the other person's behaviour patterns by the attentive listening and observation process described above.
You then use the information you are receiving to mirror the behaviour back. You are trying to emulate the other person's communication styles. The other person interprets your response as being evidence that you completely in tune with them.
Leading comes about by stepping up a gear from merely pacing and mirroring and actually leading the other person in the direction you want to go. It's a gradual shift that is carried out subtly whilst you are still processing the information you are receiving from them. Because this gradual move towards your desired direction is taking place using the same body language, voice tones and speech patterns that the other person uses, it feels like they are making the move themselves. They want to go where you are going because you are leading them in the only language they really understand; their own language.

From verbal to physical foreplay

You have reached the point where things are ready to move from verbal foreplay to physical foreplay. You have lead the other person or swinger couple, into a state of sexual arousal where they want some action to start. However, even at this point, some people still find it difficult to say what they want and you need to take the initiative or risk ending up like the salesman who does not close the sale !
To ensure this doesn't happen to you, create a moment of space for the other person to make the suggestion but if they don't steer things straight back to where you were before the break and ask the question straight out; "Are we ready for some fun now?"
There are of course thousands of variations but generally speaking euphemisms like "Fun" and "Play" are preferable to using the more direct alternatives.
Whatever words you use, say it slowly in a laid back, relaxed toned, using plenty of eye contact and above all, in a completely confident manner.
You are simply confirming that the time you have both (or all) been working up to has now arrived. If it wasn't okay with the other person (or swingers) you wouldn't have been getting anywhere with your flirting and rapport building. In other words, the responses you would have received up until this point would have indicated that something was wrong. The adult dating meeting had been set up for the sole purpose of enjoying some adult fun and now it has been confirmed that the time to start some is upon you.

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