Arranging the adult date
Imagine a few weeks from now. You have put a lot
of effort into creating a great adult dating profile. You have established yourself
as a popular online swinger and chatroom favourite. You have carefully
crafted out some really great messages and sent them out to swingers
who match your preferences. You've read the replies and entered
into follow up correspondence with several promising adult contacts. You've
exchanged telephone numbers with several swinger couples. The time has come to
make some calls and arrange some adult dates.
Prepare before you make the call
Before picking up the phone, read over the other person's (or swinger couple's) adult dating profile
go over all the correspondence that has already taken place
between you. Prepare a set of questions based on the profile and have this
in front of you when you make the call.
The other person is going to be much more impressed with someone who
wants to find out a lot about them as opposed to someone who tries
to dominate the conversation.
You also need to have prepared some very specific ideas for the adult date
you are trying to arrange. Although you must always be flexible and
give serious consideration to the other person's suggestions
as to where and when to meet, there is a high chance that they will
need the ideas to come from you, so make sure you have several well
thought out proposals ready.
Ensure that you are phoning from somewhere that you will not be interrupted,
that the television is switched off and there are no other noises
or distractions.
Avoid getting an answer-phone response by checking out
in advance what time to call. If however you still get one, be very discreet
about the message you leave!
Good swingers open with discretion
When the other person answers, your first question should be to
check that it is actually the person you thought you were calling.
Apart from the possibility of you having misdialled, there is always
the chance that the telephone line is shared with a flat mate,
or other members of the family. Be especially wary of this possibility
when you are calling a swinger couple because you may find you are
talking to their teenage son or daughter!
Introduce yourself with a bit of humour. Some ice-breaker like “Hi,
I’m the swinger who’s been sending you all those naughty messages
/ photos” etc
Follow the introduction up by confirming exactly why you are calling. This
might sound like stating the obvious but it ensures that the call
doesn't digress into pleasant but irrelevant conversation. You
are making the call to arrange an adult date, so say what has attracted
you to the other person (or swinger couple) and why you want an adult date with them.
As you ask your questions, throwing in the occasional
flirt to keep the conversation light and on track, ensure that you
listen carefully to the replies you are getting. Tune yourself into
the various changes in the other person's tones of voice. These
can be more revealing than the actual words and phrases used. Remember
that you are trying to build a swingers bond. Do this by asking follow-up
questions that demonstrate understanding and try to match the voice
tones that the other person is using. At all times, show a deep interest
in them as an esteemed person and not just as someone who might provide
you with some adult fun.
Making the adult dating proposal
Listen intently for cues that will tell you the right time to get specific
about the meeting arrangements again. When you feel confident that
you are receiving the right signals and get a suitable cue, make a
proposal to meet. Ensure that it fits in with the things they have
been telling you about themselves. Proposing a rendezvous
on a Saturday evening when the person has already told you that their
shift work pattern or difficulty finding baby sitters prevents them
enjoying a social life at the weekends, would show that you had not
been paying attention.
The way you phrase the proposal is also important. Make it as likely
to lead to yes as possible. Without sounding too much like a salesman
use the “which would you prefer” technique. For example;
“I was thinking about Friday around 8 o’clock or would
you prefer to meet a bit later?” Sound upbeat and confident
when you ask. Don’t let it sound as if you are desperate.
If they respond by saying that they are unsure about being ready to
meet, then there is little point in pushing it. Do not take
rejection personally and use it as a positive experience from which
you can learn more skills and techniques to use in the future.
If the response was a positive one you need to confirm
that you have understood correctly and feel really enthusiastic about
meeting. Repeat back the agreed arrangement by saying something like;
"Fantastic.! So that's 8.30 on Saturday the 12th, at your place. Can
I just read back the address to you so as to ensure I've got it right?"
After you have agreed to the adult date, you should devote the rest
of the conversation to preparing the ground for the adult fun you want
the meeting to provide. Keep things light hearted and use your flirting skills
as verbal foreplay to create sexual tension.
By the time you reach the end of the call, the other person should be sending you
clear signals of what the meeting is going to be about and provided
you are what your adult dating profile claims; sex will definitely be on the agenda.
|